Five Hours in Detroit...Not That Bad

Well, what I thought was going to be the worst thing in the world, was actually not too bad. When I got to Detroit for my 5-hour layover, I was pleasantly surprised to find a brand new, totally re-modeled, Northwest Airlines terminal that seemed to be Detroit's airport's response to the "Mall of America," except in Japan.

Little did I know that Northwest's huge terminal in Detroit was home to a lot of inbound and outbound flights to Japan. Everything in the terminal was in English and Japanese and there were a ton of restaurants and shops all over, including...wait for it...wait for it...sushi!...which I didn't eat. Does that piss you off that I made you wait for it, but instead, I went to a Mexican restaurant where I ate chicken quesadillas and drank two Coronas? It would piss me off. But then again, that's why I'm Trott Felipe...I mean Brian Laesch.

So, to make a long story short, I was very entertained in the Northwest Airlines terminal in the Detroit Metro Airport. The 5-hour layover, really wasn't that bad. Actually, I pretty much did all the stuff that I would have done on a normal Sunday anyway, except it was a Monday.

So sorry, I wish I had some great, pissed-off story about how much it sucked and how...well...I guess I could talk about the flight home. That did suck. I had a window seat and a fat kid in the middle who kept getting all up in my personal space and shit. Damn it did that suck. I thought my left shoulder was going to be dislocated by the end of the flight. Yeah...I could talk about that...but everybody experiences that ish.

So yeah, my five hour stay in Detroit was pretty decent. I didn't get to take a tour of the Suzuki automobile plant though. Ja ja ja, get it? Because it's a Japanese automobile manufacturer, not an American one, but Detroit is like the home of American automobile manufacturers. Gosh, is anybody else seeing this? Seriously, I am so smart, it's not even funny. That was another joke, hoo-ah! Hey-yo! Shit.

Also, I didn't get to take part in an old Detroit tradition of murdering somebody. Oh well, maybe next time I'll visit 8 Mile road and get to take part in the festivities. Only in the name of tradition of course.

All in all, it was a great stay in Japan...I mean Detroit.

EDIT: P.S. Did I mention the tram?

Italian-Americans Still Reeling From World Cup Victory

I’ve come to realize that most Italian-Americans (the two I’ve come into contact with lately) are still really excited about Italy’s World Cup victory this Summer…even though it’s November. They are American citizens, born and raised, yet they seem to be really excited and want to shove it in the USA’s face…but they live here. I guess I’ll never get it. I guess I’ll also never care about soccer or “futbol del mundo” either. You can taunt me as much as you want about America’s below-average showing in the World Cup, but it won’t affect me.

My question is: When the next World Cup rolls around in 2010, instead of rooting for the good ol’ U.S., should I be rooting half the time for Germany and half the time for England? And then, if Germany or England wins, be only half-excited and do a half-ass celebration? And then, should I shove it in “the American’s” faces, only half of the time that I feel like it? Even in November? And will I go around after the World Cup victory, of either England or Germany, and boast about how “America sucks,” and how I’m going to move to England/Germany for half the year because of it?

Uhhh…no. I like basketball.

Brian Laesch, the most cultured Midwesterner in the history of America, at least, by modern media standards.

Viral Brian

I decided to post a few of my videos from YouTube. Here are two of them. One is one of my favorites and the other is the newest one. You’ll notice that most of my videos are just me, a true one-man-show. Why? Because all of my “collaborators” either don’t live in LA or are married now. Damn, I wish I had friends.

One of my favorites:



I made three of these during the 2006 NBA Playoffs. I guarantee that Steve Nash decided to shave his head after watching these videos. I’ll be making more soon. I won’t have to wear the wig anymore though.

My newest video:



I was “inspired” to make this video after renting The Aristocrats from Netflix and watching half of it. I made this video and then forced myself to watch the rest of the film. Surprisingly, it did get better. Luckily, I made this video before it did, because the first half of the film pissed me off.

Brian Laesch hopes to have friends in Los Angeles the next time he busts out the digital camcorder.

You know what sucks about the new 'Borat' moviefilm?

The fact that now, nobody will believe me when I tell them that I dressed up as “Borat,” two years ago for Halloween, even if I show them the pictures. I’ve been an Ali G/Borat/Bruno and Sacha Baron Cohen fan for years, but now that he’s mainstream, and in a big way, dressing up as any of his characters is no longer a cool Halloween costume. Well, it’s probably stil pretty cool but just imagine how many people probably dressed up as Borat for Halloween yesterday. It’s definitely not original anymore. It kind of was when I did it two years ago though. Isn’t that awesome?

In your face, everybody who dressed up as Borat for Halloween ‘06.

Picture Note: Yes, this is me toasting myself dressed as "Borat" in 2004.

Brian Laesch is a writer who contributes to writing blogs that nobody really needs to read.

Welcome to Brian Laesch's Blog

Hi, my name is Brian Laesch. You may know me from such hits as…well nothing yet, unless you are a fan of me from Myspace or some other, really random social networking site. Other than that, unless you are my parents or one of my friends, you probably don’t know much about me. (Actually, I take that back, you may be one of the few, miscellaneous fans of my old blog, drunkblogger.com. It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t like where it was headed so it was time to move on.)

Well here is some info about me: I grew up in Central Illinois, Bloomington to be exact. I went to Arizona State University where I basically partied for four years and didn’t do much else (except graduate on time…somehow). It was actually unfair to the rest of the country how much I partied there. I felt like somewhere, a kid at a small liberal arts college in Wisconsin was probably doing double the studying because of it. You know, like some kind of weird, academic karma…or not. Really though, it’s not that I was an alcoholic, but if I hadn’t known that “it was all just a college thing,” I would have been on the path to being one. Can’t complain about my time spent at ASU at all though, except for the part about learning stuff.

After graduating, I spent a meaningless summer in Tempe, followed by a 1 1/2 month move back to Indiana (where my parents had moved), then moved back to Arizona for an internship I was offered…pretty much the day I got back. I stayed there for 4 months, got what I needed out of the internship and moved on to LA, where I’ve been struggling somewhat and just figuring this whole city out, up to this point, 2 1/2 years later. While I’m not done, I’ve finally reached a point where it’s time to go get it. I’ve learned a lot since moving to LA. The cliche: a lot about myself. I’ve found myself. The reality: a lot about the entertainment industry, the bullshit in this town, and the fact that honestly, nobody knows anything. (I technically stole the “nobody knows anything” part from a successfull screenwriter, but it’s a pretty general statement, and it’s so on the dot that I can’t say it any better way. Besides, it’s not like he, uhh, like, used big words or something. He can’t sue me.)

So that’s where I am now, taking myself seriously, finally, and getting my life going. I’m very interested to find out where I’ll be a year from now, and I hope you are too. But if not, I understand. You just don’t know me...not yet at least.